When You Can
by mystripedskirt
Summary: Carter holds Serena as they watch the high school couple voted 'Most Likely to Get Married' actually get married, even though they're about ten years late. CaS, CB, NB, NS


Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

_It's not too late  
To do yourself a favor  
And walk away  
Though I know that's never been your nature  
By the way  
You put yourself in danger 'cause you're  
Playing with my heart  
Playing with my heart  
Playing with my heart_

_-Kate Voegele "Playing with My Heart"_

* * *

She's Aphrodite in human form when her hair spills out over thousand thread count sheets. There was no denying that Serena van der Woodsen was a goddess in her own right and Carter Baizen knows he is lucky to even share a piece of her golden charm. He admits he was surprised when she so easily invites him halfway across the world in search of her father when he failed to find the man so many years ago. They were different people back then than they are now – at least he can say this for her – but he's still enamored by this girl who captivated his attention so very long ago. There's a flicker of sunlight signaling daybreak when she opens her eyes and looks at him.

"Hi," she whispers.

He whispers back, "Morning, gorgeous."

She's not amused when she responds, "Always the charmer."

He's amused for both of them when he replies, "And always the charmed."

She cringes, "Okay, it's too early for the cliché lines, but thanks."

"You're welcome."

When she yawns, he takes the time to inspect her angled face. Her lips are smaller than Blair's full ones, but what enchants him is her eyes. They are the color of the Atlantic Ocean on its stormiest night, full of melancholy and emotional turmoil. She bats her eyelashes at him inadvertently and he unintentionally pauses all thoughts but thoughts of her.

"Did you find my dad?" she asks.

His response is, "He's in Suva."

She's impatient when she answers, "Then why are we waiting?"

"It's barely dawn. Don't you want to get some sleep?"

"I want to find my dad," she replies honestly

He asks, "Ever since that whole Gossip Girl calamity during graduation, you've been on a hunt for blood. You sure this is about finding your dad?"

She insists, "I'm not Blair. I don't need blood."

"If you say so, sweetheart," he's not convinced.

* * *

They scour the Secretariat of the Pacific Community as the sun is still rising, but there is no sign of the van der Woodsen patriarch. It's in their blood to be left lost and never to be found, but Carter will be damned to see Serena return home as distraught as she was after Santorini. He's never forgotten the look on her face as the authorities tell her what she doesn't want to hear.

It's to the Pacific Islands Forum Secretariat next. It is here that they receive their next clue. It is here that they find a stepping stone to find her father. According to locals, he has made his way to Samoa. They first search Apia, the capital. They stop to eat fresh fish, and then resume their search.

All the while Carter thinks love might be a feeling that creeps up on him like he's Chuck Bass and Serena is Blair Waldorf, but then he laughs to himself and wonders if that is what he is becoming. But would it be so bad to love Serena van der Woodsen? He feels like a fifteen year old Nate Archibald pining for the golden queen. He hasn't been king for years now, but he can step up for her.

"What are you thinking about?" he wonders.

She replies honestly, "Nothing in particular, just thinking."

He places a hand on the small of her back as they walk through the Pacific and she's none the wiser about his actions. He likes this about her, the way she doesn't question anything, doesn't question him.

* * *

When she disappears again like the last time, he doesn't scour the earth to find her because he's Carter Baizen and he has pride (or so he likes to pretend).

They first run into each other years later, as Carter is finishing up his day at Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft. He's about to leave his office until his secretary buzzes the intercom, signaling the arrival of a senior partner.

"Baizen," R. Ronald Hopkinson mentions, "I've got a last minute engagement with the wife. Can you handle the next client?"

It's late, but he's not one to complain – it's not like he has anything better to do because he's thirty two and still as single as ever – so he acquiesces to his boss's wishes and watches in astonishment as Serena van der Woodsen glides through his door like she owns the place.

"Serena," he greets her, "What brings you to my office?"

"Irreconcilable differences?" she asks in a small voice, and it's so eerily reminiscent of the girl he once liked_loved_lusted after at eighteen that he closes his eyes to remember clearly.

She's twenty nine and she looks the same, thank God, so he pulls out a chair for her to sit in before pouring two glasses of scotch. She downs her first before he has the chance to hand it to her.

"What?" she questions, "Chuck Bass is my brother."

"I taught him well," he agrees.

They sit in silence for several more moments before she blurts out rather suddenly, "I'm sorry about Suva, you know. I mean, along with Santorini. And now."

"Are you going to leave me now?" he questions aloud, "Because I'm pretty sure we're not together. Yet again. Your choice this time, too."

She's still doing that thing with her nose where it's scrunched into her face and he thinks it's not as cute as when Blair Waldorf does it, but he enjoys it all the same.

"Um, so about that divorce," she casually mentions.

"Yours," he tells her, before handing her a pack of standard papers, "I'll run up a contract for you. Any specifics you want in there?"

She stares at him blankly before she shrugs, "This is my first time doing this. I don't even know where to begin. I guess I could ask my mom. She would know."

He doesn't roll his eyes at her when he responds, "I am a pretty decent lawyer, you know. I'll do it and have her look it over. How does that sound?"

"Perfect," Serena mentions, and he wishes she was describing them.

They're having a business meeting slash dinner slash business dinner when Carter overestimates his wine tolerance and blurts out, "I never understood why you married Nathaniel anyway. Wasn't he Blair's?"

"He still is," Serena laughs, not at all bitter about it, "He was getting over her and I was getting over everyone when we finally found each other again. I guess it just happened."

She shrugs like she always does like life will pass her by without any of them knowing it, but they all watch intently because she is Serena van der Woodsen and they still care.

"Kids?" he asks, even though he knows Kai is six and Isabelle is turning four next week.

She nods, "Kai's in first grade at St. Jude's. He's so smart. I swear he has more Blair in him than me or Nate. She's spoiled him rotten ever since he was born. Belle starts Constance next year, even though I don't want her to. She's my baby."

"You're not mad at her," Carter says, referring to Blair.

Serena asks, "At Blair? Never. That ship sailed long ago."

"He was your husband," he prods.

She shakes her head, "He was never really mine. And she and Natie aren't together."

He continues, "They can't just be really good friends."

Serena whispers, "She and Chuck were over a long time ago. She just needs someone. Surely you can understand that?"

He finishes with, "You're a good best friend," before he pays the check and they depart back to their Upper East Side world of frivolity.

* * *

Serena clearly holds less grudges than her brother when he's noticeably absent at the nuptials of Nate and Blair (nee Bass). She's visibly happy for them, which is still a strange concept to Carter. They've been together for three years – she finally gives in to his charm, even though she jokingly tells him she is settling – and he still wonders how she can be such a loving person given the environment they have been raised in.

He admits Blair is beautiful as she walks down the aisle toward Nate, but he is even more captivated with her small daughter. Three year old Sabrina Bass is Blair's replica, down to the diamond headband adorning her tiny, perfect head. She walks gracefully for a toddler, but he expects nothing less. She is escorted by Kai, who holds her small hand with his own.

Behind them, Belle walks with Blair's son Cameron, Chuck's replica to a tee. Belle has Serena's hair, but none of her ungraceful tendencies.

Carter holds Serena as they watch the high school couple voted 'Most Likely to Get Married' actually get married, even though they're about ten years late.

"Better late than never, right?" Serena asks, pointing at Penelope's scowling face, "I don't think she ever got over him."

"Blair?" Carter wonders, not really sure.

"No," Serena mentions, "I meant Penelope," between giggles.

* * *

Two years later, Serena and Blair are pregnant at the same time, so Carter and Nate reconcile and go out for drinks to celebrate their women. When they return home, they find silence. Kai is on the couch watching SportsCenter, updating Cameron on the latest Knicks v. Rockets stats when Nate asks his son where their wives are.

"Mom's upstairs with Blair," Kai offers, before turning back to his stepbrother and explaining the advantages of playing point guard.

"I guess we're not getting anything else out of them," Carter supposes, and Nate agrees.

Sabrina glides downstairs beautifully at age five and greets the men, "Good afternoon, Nate. Uncle Carter."

"Brina," Nate begins, "What are your mom and Serena doing?"

Belle takes this time to tumble down the stairs and greets, "Hi, Daddy. Mom and Blair say that's a secret."

Sabrina all but rolls her eyes when she responds, "You could just go upstairs and check. It's nothing you're not used to, I promise."

* * *

They're sitting comfortably in their midtown loft when Blair suddenly rushes in.

She's in tears and it takes minutes to calm her down until Serena finally asks, "What happened, B?"

Carter chips in, "Did Nathaniel do something?" because Nate always reverts to Nathaniel when he does something to harm his girls – and Carter wonders to himself if it is weird that he thinks of Blair as one of his girls, until he shrugs it off, thinking that if this girl is important to his wife, she is important to him.

Blair sniffles before she replies, "Chuck wants full custody."

She's just given birth, but she's even thinner than she was pre-pregnancy and he suddenly gets very angry that Chuck Bass has stressed this girl out so much.

"How?" Serena wonders, "He's never around to raise them. Has he even seen them since you guys separated?"

"Not even once a year," Blair cries, her head in her hands, "He loves those whores more than he loves his children. You know Nate raised them."

"I know," Serena whispers, "But he didn't mind."

* * *

It turns out to be just a scare because Chuck wants Blair back when he can't have her at his beck and call, but Harold flies in to work on the case with Carter and Cyrus anyway. They're an elite team of lawyers and they threaten to win the biggest settlement of the year when Chuck gives up and gives in to the new husband of the year, Nate Archibald.

Carter finally has time to hold his son, a very own child to call his own. They call him Christian Keith, after his father and hers. Nate and Blair's daughter is born around the same time, with tufts of light brown hair and brilliant blue eyes. Sabrina names her Sofia Grace and the double name sticks, as the family never refers to her as anything different in the years to come.


End file.
